ALL JOKES

Girl:It’s 2 tight
Boy:Don’t worry,I’ll do it slowly,
Gal:Push it in,
Boy:Ah..I can’t,
Gal:It’s painful,
Boy:Forget it.
.
.
.
.
We’ll buy new WEDDING RING!

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Sharabi eyes donate karne gaya, Counter Clerk asks: Kuch kehna chahte ho?
Sharabi: Jise lagao usse bata dena ye do peg ke baad khulti hain

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Wife: If I die what will u do?
Husband: Main paagal ho jaun ga!
Wife: Will u marry again after I die?
Husband: Pagal kuch bhi kar sakta hai!

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Teacher:Bachon wada kro kabhi sharab,cigrette nahi piyo ge
Bachey:Nahi piyenge
Teacher:Girls ka peecha nai karoge
Bachey:Nahi karenge
Teacher:Unn par awaaze nai kaso ge
Bachey: nahi kasenge
Teacher:Watan par zindigi qurbaan karo ge
Bachey:Kardenge,aesi zindigi ka karna bhi kya hai..

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Baap Beti Se , 
Pehle Tum Mujh Ko Papa Kahte The Ab Dady Kuyn Kahti Ho , 
Kiya Wajah Hai ?
Beti : Papa Kahne Se Lipstick Jo Kharab Hoo Jate Hai

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Wife - Suniye Kya Aap Kitchen Se Garam Masala La Kar Aayenge 
Husband - Magar Yahan To Nahin Hai 
Wife - Mujha Pata Tha Tumha Nahin Mila Ge Is Liya Main Pehla Se Le Aayi !!!!!!!! :P :P

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Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatoes 5 days ago, he hasn`t come back yet! 
Santa: Why don`t u cook something else.

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PHILOSOPHY : small things hurt a lot 
Example : u can sit on a mountain but not on a pin...

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Teacher: 3 girls are walking in the road. Turn the sentence in to exclamatory.
student: WOW!